And I lost weight. I made a decision. I was not a "fat" person anymore. I was a healthy person with bad eating habits. You can change a habit. You have a harder time at long-term success if you only focus on the fat. So, in a case where I used my powers of stubbornness for good instead of evil, I stubbornly held to the idea that I was not fat anymore. I took a journalist's view of myself. I looked at HOW I ate, WHAT I ate, WHERE I ate, WHEN I ate, and most importantly WHY I ate.
You can't change a habit if you don't understand why you are doing it. I ate fast (I'm still working on that ... a bad habit learned from 16+ years as an RN in a hospital). I ate anything and everything (and lots of it!). I ate standing over the sink, sitting in front of the TV, and in my car driving to work. I ate when I woke up, right before bed, and sometimes in the middle of the night I would wake up and have a PBJ sandwich. I ate because I was bored. Tired. Angry. Nervous. Happy. Scared. We celebrated happiness with food. We mourned losses with food. Food was a reward.
But food is ... just food. It's fuel for our bodies. Sure, we want it to look good and taste good and smell good. But at the bottom line, it is just something that our bodies need to live, grow and heal.
When I realized all that, the weight loss challenge was reduced. (Not eliminated, but reduced. I still struggle with wanting to eat more, but everyday that struggle eases a bit.) My new choices made sense. They didn't seem to be restrictions, as much as they seemed to be rational. It took a while of getting used to lower calorie intakes, but that's the way it is with any change. And now, seven months later, I am nearing my goal. I am less than 4 pounds from my goal weight. I am almost done, right?
However, I find that I am modifying my plan. Yes, I still want to reach my goal weight, but now I want more than that. I have learned new things about myself, my body and my spirit. I am nearly at my goal, but I am still carrying a high percentage of body fat. I want more muscle and less fat. That's a new goal. And I want to be able to run. That's why I registered for the 10K next June. By registering and paying my fee (I am a tightwad sometimes, so paying is a way of forcing my commitment) I am making a statement that I am going to run that 10K. I will win (in this case, "win" = "finishing without walking").
Make goals. Make a plan. Follow it. But just as when you build a home, sometimes you need to tell the contractor to make changes to the original plan. Be prepared for that because as you continue toward success, your view of the world will change, opening up options that you never even considered in your prior life.
Speaking of changes, I bought three new cookbooks and they arrived last night. I love cookbooks. Two were from Eating Well (a very good magazine!): 500 Calorie Dinners, and Eating Well on a Budget. The third is Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. I'm going to learn how to make bread! (You know I will post pics as I go. I'll even take pictures of breads that were less than successful, because those are learning lessons, too.)
In paging through the Budget book, I found a recipe that triggered my taste buds. Huevos Rancheros. I took their recipe, tweaked it a little and made this for breakfast:
The Huevos Rancheros are a big breakfast at about 560 calories, but you can easily drop 165 calories by using a 6" La Tortilla Wrap, one egg and 1/4 avocado instead of an 8" wrap, two eggs and half the avocado. (The remainder of the ingredients are 1/2 cup black beans, slightly smashed, half of a jalapeno diced, and 1 ounce of sharp cheddar cheese.)
The smoothie is Blueberry. No spinach in this one, but only because I wanted to take a picture of it. In all honesty, adding spinach to most smoothies really detracts from the beauty of the drink ... this one (and I usually do add the spinach) looks ... er ... really nasty. But tastes great! This smoothie is about 165 calories.
It was a big breakfast, but I prefer a big breakfast. I find that is gets me going for the day with less hunger throughout. (But that's just me.)
Let's take one more look at the star of today's breakfast:
Again, thanks for reading this. I hope that you are able to make good choices today and really look at WHY you are taking the actions that may be slowing your progress, or diverting your attention from your goal.
And always remember, that YOU are worth anything you really want. What do you want? And you can have anything you really want ...mbut the most important things are not free. Are you willing to work for what you want? When you answer those two questions, your path will become a little more clear.
Enjoy! And I'll see you tomorrow!